I’M MARRIED, BUT IT’S NOT AN ACHIEVEMENT

August 30, 2016

The women who never thought she would get married tied the knot.

Yes, me.

I’m married. I married my beloved, Robin, the most loving partner with the most beautiful heart. He’s pretty darn sexy too.

Our wedding took place on July 30th in front of small group of family and friends on top of a mountain on a sacred space in Ojai, CA.  We chose Ojai because it is our laid back place where we go to escape LA and it also is the location of our first couple’s trip where we fell in love. I can’t describe how powerful it was making a significant commitment with the blessings of our friends and family.

Our wedding was perfect. In fact, it was magical. It was well executed and elegant, just as we planned it. To be quite honest, I never dreamed of my wedding and if you read my dress shopping post you know, I went into that with hesitation. We kept our planning practical and only splurged on things that mattered us: an elegant table setting, delicious food options, a killer DJ dance party, exquisite wine, cocktails and solid planning (thanks, dad). Robin and I only wanted the highest and most positive energy vibrations surrounding us that day and made sure of it, hence an intimate 40 person bash with our nearest and dearest.

So, let me get real for a moment.

I just married the love of my life, but it’s not an accomplishment. I did not win a prize. My struggles are not over because I landed a man. The last few weeks I’ve been treated like I won the lottery. I even feel excluded from some of my single friends like I need to be shipped off to a separate island. My life is not any easier now that I “nailed a man down.” Women put so much emphasis on a big white dress like girls do in high school with “prom.” It is just one night. The day after it was just a party and then you go on to the real world.

After our wedding, Robin and I took an extra day to relax, and we hit the ground hard with work. I started with styling a commercial and Robin headed back to his mattress store. We are thrilled for our upcoming Parisian honeymoon. Trust me it can’t come soon enough.

Wish us luck on our new chapter, but please don’t say congrats.  I’m still a hustling entrepreneur on the verge of my next big move!

For the record, I’m Melissa Chataigne Stuart. No hyphen.

Chataigne is too good of a name to let go, but I’m honored to be a Stuart as well. It flows so sweetly, just like my Robin.

Let me know your thoughts on the subject in the comments section below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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As one who has refused four proposals…lol, yes, four, I like that you shine light on the ‘backlash’, from those who believe it’s all fairy-tales and roses.

Life is life.

And it becomes a dance of compromise once you make a significant commitment as this…not just perpetual Instgram photo ops.

Wishing you all the best in Life, married and all.

Yes!!! Marriage is work and compromise. The real work begins after everyone has left and its sets that you are responsible for this man and he is for you. I’m thankful, but it is not easy. Open communication and real love is the key, or else you would throw in the towel. Thanks for commenting and being real. xx

I really enjoyed this piece. I have had very similar thoughts as well….when I got married people acted the same way. Great article!

I think we have to do a better job of changing the way we act towards the ritual. Glad I’m not the only one. Thanks for commenting.

LOVED THIS! You are so right…. marriage is a beautiful thing but so many women think a wedding is the ONE thing they need to have a full, fixed, and truly happy life…. that’s not true! I loved how you expressed your thoughts on this… your wedding sounded lovely :))

Thanks for commenting. I appreciate that I’m not the only one. I do have share more pics. As women we have to change the way we approach the ritual.

You nailed it! I think many people feel a woman has to get married and by doing so life becomes easier…..it doesn’t. Wish you the best as a wife and a woman!

Thanks girl! I think this country is obsessed with the big ring and the dress. SO much more work that is seems.

I love this article! As a single female, I always feel pressure to find a man soon and get married. But I’ve started to wonder, why does that have to be my number one goal? What about MY hopes, and MY dreams that have NOTHING to do with a man? Don’t those matter a little more? Thank you for posting!

Don’t rush! I just turned 35 and found the love of my life and the right time. He loves me for me. Also, event though we are a great match we are still learning a lot goes into marriage. It is so much harder that just living together. Focus on you and fall in love with you before you left anyone else in. That is the key to a successful marriage.

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